SHOPLIFTING

WARNING: this is a LONGGG essay...and may bore u 2 sleep!but u could probably use it 2 black mail me.. so please read and commentyyyy! thanx

This is probably the worst or the BADDEST thing I’ve ever done (besides kissing other peoples boyfriends which really isn’t THAT bad). I shoplifted for the first time 3 years ago on Valentines day.. I was in city centre (I’m not going to name the shoppiesss or people involved...just the letter they begin with) with my cousins S, T, T2, and Z.

the first shop we went to was TS not many customers were there because it was early morning and the shop had only been open for about 15 mins. Anyways we were in the shop looking around; our intention was not to shoplift it just sort of happened. Well my cousin S found this mini book, sort of like a voucher that had things like 'I owe u one kiss’. 'I owe u a lap dance' and crap like that.. and the whole booklet was like about £5 and she only wanted one of the vouchers to give to her guy. so we just ripped it out the book and rolled it up and put it up her sleeve. we walked out like nothing had happened...we told my other 2 cousins T and T2 . T2 the eldest one was screwing saying we'll get caught and bla bla the usual stuff elders say!!.. anyways we made our way to the shops and ended up nicking one thing or another. we carried on doing this for quiet a few months without getting caught.

it was usually me and Z & S who went on a thieving spree...the other two T and T2 usually went together.. (Z,T and T2 are sisters) .we'd all steal things for one another and then laugh about it when we got home. we knew the perfect ways to conceal the products.. where the cameras were located in the stores and which items had security alarms. we were invincible (like arsenal in 2003/2004 season :) ). it wasn't that we didn’t have any money (we're not rolling around in £50 notes either!).. but it was the excitement of getting away with something that was wrong.. we were breaking a law and it was an adrenaline rush. each time we went it was something bigger and better... we stole brand named make up and perfumes... the most expensive thing we stole were boots which cost £90... from previous knowledge my cousin S had known that once that shop was busy the assistants left the customers on their own with the product in order to attended to other customers. anyways we ended up nicking the boots.. I felt so proud.

....One of the days we went, it was me S and Z... we went to RI and they had no camera's there.. easy job we thought.. I saw some nice combats and S saw a belt she liked... we made our ways to the changing rooms to 'try them on'.. in fact we were going to steal them.. before entering the changing room we'd hide the item we wanted inside another item that we were going to 'try on'... once in the changing room we'd get the hidden products and place them into out shopping bags. we did what we had to and made our way out the changing rooms giving back the item saying it wasn’t a good fit.. it was weird because it was as if the woman already knew that we didn’t want the products.. she said 'no good is it?'.. even before I said whether I want it or not... anyways we got the hell out that shop and went to SF and went down to the lingerie section and put garments into our bags as if we were taking sweets from a pick and mix stand. we noticed two men in the underwear section with a woman, which I thought was pretty dodgy.. I dismissed the thought and told myself they were probably looking 4 a late gift for their partner for valentines day (which was that day!).. anyway we got out the shop and went to TR and took some chocolate bars and put them up our sleeves..

I looked out the entrance door and saw two men coming into the shop.. unaware that they were the same ones from SF.. they grabbed us from our arms and I nearly shat my pants.. I knew I was caught.. the excitement had ended and I was going to be dead meat!!!... they dragged us back to RI warning us not to try and escape.. they took us down the back of the shop and downstairs where there was a woman there.. one of the men asked if we knew why we were here.. no-one responded. S replied 'no'.. she was like 'what have we done...'. they knew why we were there and we did too. I spoke up and said yes.. the woman asked if we had stolen anything from RI.. and we denied it likes fools.. they searched our bags and noted down all the products we had stolen and their prices.. the prices were calculated... we were told that we would b cautioned only but because we had stolen items of large value we'd have to be taken to the police station... I was dying!! .. they noted down our names and address's.. I was told that I’d get 5years before my name was cleared off the register as I was under 18... S and Z got 3 years (which was over last weds!)... they told us we'd be handcuffed for their safety and so we didn’t try to run away... we begged them not to but they only had 2 handcuffs and there were 3 of us.. they said that the two handcuffed ones will sit at the back on the van and the non-handcuffed would sit with the policemen.. me and S were handcuffed and taken out the shop along with Z

... it was so embarrassing and no longer was I proud.. I was ashamed .. not ashamed of stealing but of getting caught.. I still don’t regret shoplifting till this day.

we were in the van.. me and S pondering on what will happen to us.. we were taken to the station where we were told to wait while other 'criminals' were dealt with.. a young Asian lady officer approached us and told us that we shouldn’t be shoplifting, how this would tarnish our future and the rest of it.. I was like whatever Mother Theresa.. if u cant get me out of here then don’t lecture me... our names and address were taken down and placed onto their system including our telephone numbers!!.. they told us that they would be contacting our homes to check we gave the right address.. I was once again on the verge of shitting my pants.. I suddenly realized how disappointed and hurt my parents would be.. I wanted to cry.. they made us remove anything harmful like jewelry and shoelaces and took our handbags and then searched us all over.. we were placed in a cell.. I have no idea WHY..

S was in the one few away from me.. and Z was downstairs somewhere.. we screamed to each other.. talking in our mother tongue (Urdu) discussing what the fuck we were going to do once we get out and what we'd tell our parents. I was in my cell for what seemed likes 3hours.. I was crying my eyes out screaming at the top of my lungs for them to get me out of there.. I continuously prayed and hoped that God would just make me wake up and that this was all just a very bad dream... it failed to happen. we could here a woman in the cell downstairs screaming non-stop since we arrived.! the cell was digesting! there was a nasty loo with pee and nasty diseases on it and a blue mat to sleep on. I wanted to puke.. I wanted the earth to open up and just swallow me. that too failed to happen.. after a while I couldn’t get a response from S when I called out for her. one of the officers came to my cell and offered me food, I told them that I wasn’t eating it if it wasn’t vegetarian. They said that I’d be let out the shit hole of a cell in a bit so I told them that I didn’t want their crappy food.

Not long after an officer let me out and they took my down to like a mini lab. They took my DNA, fingerprints and photo. they told me that my dad had phoned a few times and told me to return the call but I refused because I was too scared to face the wrath of my dad. I asked the officer what my father had said on the phone and he said why I was at the station and if I was ok. Well I was surprised he asked how I was because I’d get a good bollocking once I got home. I went out the station, delighted to inhale the fresh air.

I saw S standing outside we both giggled. We conversated on what we should do.. she told me that she asked a passerby to ring her mother and act as an officer. He pretended to be one of the wanker officers and said that there had been a misunderstanding and that they had arrested the wrong people and how deeply sorry he was to put S and her family through this. She advised me to do the same, so I went across to the hospital car park that was opposite the shit hole of a temporary prison/jail. I found a guy faffing about looking for keys or something. I filled him in on what had happened and what I needed him to do. He was nervous and reluctant to do it.. but I begged him… so he rang and my dad picked up.. the random guy introduced himself as ‘officer smith’ how original. He explained that it was a mistake and that he was very sorry. I could hear my dad screaming and swearing down the phone to ‘officer smith’. I heard my dad ask his badge number or something and the fella didn’t know what to say so he just cut it off. He said sorry to me for cutting it off, he didn’t know what to say. I told him not to worry and thanked him. Z eventually came out and she rang home.. her sister had picked up the phone and gave us all a good screaming down the line.. she hadn’t told her mum about what had happened but just told her mum that Z was over at my house that’s why she wasn’t home yet.

Anyways I eventually came home.. and dad just looked at me asking what happened half screaming.. I told him that 3 girls who looked very similar to me Z and S shoplifted from a shop and they thought it was us. I said that we had watched the footage from CCTV camera and the girl did very much resemble us, but then realized it wasn’t us because they were caught shoplifting elsewhere. And that they had falsely accused of shoplifting.. he believed me thank god.. then mum came asking the same question as dad and I gave her the same answer.

I only ever shoplifted once or twice after that and I haven’t done it for a very long time. Not because I think it is wrong but because I am afraid of getting caught. I do not feel that what I did was wrong nor do I regret it. We live in a capitalist world where the middle class owns the means of mass production.. these people are LOADED, its not as if a few stolen goods will make a dent in their wallet. I know I sound ignorant but I really am not. I just think that there are more important things to do in the world than keep and eye on shoplifters. The government doesn’t protect people, it protects property, that is why there a useless officers looking for people shoplifting rather than looking for murders or rapists. I am not using Marxism as an excuse, well I am partly..

but hmmm I don’t know. I think it’s worse if you steal from people rather than companies. A person may have an attachment to something or may have paid a lot of money for it. Its worse stealing from them than it is from big companies with inflated prices.

The feeling of getting away with stealing is an adrenaline rush. It’s a mixture of stress, tension and excitement (and A LOT or sweating!). the feeling is like watching your football team take penalties to win the FA Cup or Champions League or some sort of trophy, like when Arsenal beat Manchester United in 2005 on penalties for the FA Cup. It was like death through orgasm watching Arsenal shoot the ball in 5 times as that cunt Paul Scholes missed his. Use the crappy England squad for example.. when they cocked up on penalties against Portugal in the Euro and World Cup..ur just wandering will the ball go in or not... and ur heart is beatin 10 times as fast.. its the same with shoplifting except your thinkin 'will i get away with this or not'..

I think that 'penalty-shoot-out-adrenaline-rush' is much safer for me these days.